Debbie Downer

I'm not sure what to say. I have once again, forgotten about this until the last minute and if I write anything its going to be deeply personal. I don't really think that's appropriate, perhaps next week. I have a million random things going through my mind, none of them worth sharing, so here is my post.

I had a dream about snipers in the windows of the apartments across from mine, a dream about the men I used to love, and one about a bus crash. I hosted a baby shower today, we played pin the belly button on the baby, and it was amazing. I went to Antonio's on Friday and pretended as though I didn't have that alone feeling the entire time. I spent more money today than I made all week. And ... I love cookies.

I need to get out of this house.

So, I totally forgot that this blog was due in the next half hour, so like a good college student I'm going to write it as quickly as possible in order to get back to playing twenty questions with my roomate. Yes I know how that sounds, but its not like its a Friday night, and we are snowed in. I think I've made in imprint in my couch. All week I've been looking forward to my day off, so I could be productive and feel accomplished. But at the first sight of snow I got lazy and decided to watch awful indie movies on sundance. I ordered fattening pizza and smoked entirely way too many cigarrettes. My parents would be so proud. I'm really hoping that classes are canceled tomorrow because I need to get a head start on my paper for english, or watch re-runs of sex and the city and eat whatever I can find in my cupboard, such as canned corn and 2 year old packets of oatmeal.

My roomate would like to add: "Lauren looked beautiful with the light in her eyes, (with messy couch hair, her ratty old lutheran sweatshirt, and bacardi breath) and I realized how lucky I am to have a best friends and roomate like she day after day with the weather bringing no hope."

I wanted to help make her feel important, a part of my blog. She has the worst cabin fever and needs my attention constantly like a small child.

With that said, back to twenty questions.

#1 This is me for now.

I'm not sure how to start one of these off knowing a bunch of strangers will be reading it so they can maintain their grade. I've always had some form of a blog or online journal, having someone you're into reading your thoughts can be an obsessive thing. Reading theirs can be too.

Music: Gliss, Warpaint, Cat Power

Okay let's start with school. I am 21, and trying to get un-lost. End of story. Nine months ago I could have told you that I wanted to go to college, but I also wanted to be his army wife, have the kids, and do our dishes. Growing up is the strangest process, you think everything is possible until one day it just isn't. I knew I didn't read a few feminist books in high school for nothing, dreams don't just settle into the sand. I tried to go to LTC when I was 19, but I really hated it. I didn't want to learn about running hotels or restaurants and I knew it. I was setting myself up for failure. So I've been working two jobs for three years in exchange of a college experience, money made me feel less guilt. So here I am, waitress in the morning, learn at night, drink on Saturdays, pay bills and clean on Sundays. I think its an okay balance for now.